A Shakespearean Hogwarts
by Hylians
Summary: In the bustling city of Diagon Alley, where our story takes place, a hatred between two families erupts into new violence, and members of both sides stain their hands with blood. Two children of these enemy families become lovers and commit suicide. Their unfortunate deaths put an end to their parents' feud. Over the next few weeks, you will read the story of their doomed love and
1. Act 1 Scene 1

Act 1 Scene 1

_**A family dispute between the Browns and Weasleys occurs in the middle of Diagon Alley. The Weasleys are concerned for their son; Ron who has been depressed for many days. Fred approaches Ron and promises to find out the reasons for the sadness. Ron leaves Fred after a meaningful conversation about the women he loves assuring Fred that he cannot teach him to forget his true love.**_

**Characters:**

Romeo - Ron Weasley

Juliet - Lavender Brown

The Nurse – Poppy Pomfrey

Tybalt - Pavarti Patil

Capulet - Mr. Brown

Lady Capulet - Mrs. Brown

Montague - Arthur Weasley

Lady Montague - Molly Weasley

Paris - Dean Thomas

Benvolio - Fred Weasley

Prince Escalus - Cornelius Fudge

Friar John - Charlie Weasley

Balthasar - Dobby the House Elf

Sampson & Gregory - Samuel and George (Not from Harry Potter)

Abraham - Kreacher

The Apothecary - Severus Snape

Peter - Johnny (Not from Harry Potter)

Rosaline - Hermione Granger

Mercutio - Harry Potter

Friar Lawrence - Ginny Weasley

_Samuel and George are servants of the Brown family. They enter carrying their wands. _

**Samuel:** George, we cannot let them laugh at us any longer, we cannot just stand here and let their 'pure-blood' family treat us like garbage.

**George: **Well Samuel, if we did that we would be garbage men would we not?

**Samuel:** We are wizards you fool, tonight will be the night – if they dare treat us like vermin then we will show them the very power we hold with our wands.

**George:** Samuel, instead of fantasying of the impossible, try to keep yourself out of trouble, just do as they wish.

**Samuel:** I know my spells, I obtained three outstanding's on my O.W.L's – I'll have you know.

**George:** How can anybody make you that angry that you would curse them Samuel?

**Samuel:** One of those trolls, the Weasley can make me that angry George.

**George:** Angry enough to curse them without their wand I say.

**Samuel:** If anybody from that filthy house were to even pass me on in Diagon Alley I would have no problem walking against the wall, having them walk in the gutter.

**George:** Men would not be seen against a wall.

**Samuel:** I – Yes, I would push the Weasley 'men' into the gutter and the Weasley 'women' against the wall.

**George:** We have no right to fight for our employers all we have the right for is-

_Kreacher – a servant of the Weasley's enters._

**Samuel:** Shut up and look there, it's a Weasley.

**George:** Don't start anything, we are not to fight, we have to work in less than four hours.

**Samuel:** Get your wand out Gregory.

**George:** Yes, let's start a fight we cannot win – do you know how many Weasley's there are. I once heard that seven of them live in the same house!

**Samuel:** Good thing we can wipe them all out in a few seconds hey?

**George:** And how will you support me – run away once they start to attack, we should not break wizarding law by starting a fight. If they want to fight then they will start.

**Samuel:** I will raise my wand and they can do as they will.

**Kreacher: **Oi, are you pointing our wand at me?

**Samuel:** Pointing my wand at you sir, of course not I am just making sure that I did not chip it when it fell from my pocket.

**George: **Are you trying to start a fight sir?

**Kreacher: **No, pardon my accusation please.

**Samuel: **If you want to fight then I shall do so gladly – my boss is just as good as yours.

**Kreacher: **Just as good – perhaps, but better he shall never be.

_Fred Weasley enters. _

**Samuel: **Well, well – George, look its Pavarti, Lavender's friend. Say something to complement them.

**George: **Yes, he is better at his work sir.

**Kreacher: **You lie you filthy mud blood.

**Samuel: **Then we shall duel to see who the true men are in this world – George remember your spells.

_They start to duel._

**Fred: **Stop you idiots. Put your wands away, we are in broad daylight.

_Pavarti Patil enters._

**Pavarti: **Mhm. You have drawn your wands for these servants? Fred look at the person who will put you in your place.

**Fred: **I was only trying to stop the violence. Either help me with this dissonance or draw your wand and help me stop this conflict.

**Pavarti: **You take out your wand yet talk of peace? I resent the word peace just as I resent you and your family.

_Pavarti and Fred fight whilst many bystanders in Diagon Alley watch._

**Bystanders: **Put some effort in! Curse him! Get the Weasley! Get the Browns!

_Mr. and Mrs. Brown enter. _

**Mr. Brown: **What is going on!

_Arthur and Molly Weasley enter with their wands drawn._

**Mr. Brown: **I will make short work of this, just look at that Weasley vermin waving his wand around just to annoy me.

**Arthur: **Brown you idiot!

**Molly: **Get back you fool! You will not take one more stride towards him!

_Cornelius Fudge enters. _

**Cornelius: **You fools! Creating havoc amongst our people! You turn your own wands against your very neighbours! You beast who indulge in each other's' blood! I will have you arrested if you do not stop attacking. This is the third time fights have started because of this petty war. Three times the peace of Diagon Alley has been disturbed and our citizens have had to ply you apart. If this happens again I will have no choice but to arrest you. Brown come with me. Weasley, I will see you today. As for the rest of you petty fools be gone or be arrested.

**Arthur: **Who started this fight? Fred where you there when it started?

**Fred: **Your servant was fighting with them before I arrived. I tried to separate them until that girl Pavarti showed up with her wand flying everywhere. She taunted me making sparks with her wand. At that very point we started to duel until more and more people arrived until the Minister arrived.

**Molly: **Oh, where is Ron? Have you seen him today? I am glad he did not witness this fight.

**Fred: **Madam, I was busy this morning and was out for a walk during the afternoon. I saw your son before at the Broomstix. I tried to ask him how Hogwarts was but he dashed off.

**Arthur: **He has been going there for the past few nights. With our current - situation we cannot afford another broomstick at the moment. During the day he has been hiding in his room, creating a pretend night. It is not healthy.

**Fred: **What is wrong?

**Arthur: **I don't know and everything I try to console in him he just mumbles and leaves.

**Fred: **Have you tried everything – bribery?

**Arthur: **Yes, we have even got Hermione and Harry to come over but he doesn't talk. He does not want friends – he is his own best friend.

_Ron Weasley enters. _

**Fred: **Look, its Ron. I will force him to tell me what is wrong otherwise he can tell me no over and over until his mouth becomes so dry that he tells me or parchment.

**Arthur: **We must leave – the Ministry has summoned us and we are already running late. I wish you luck in getting the truth.

_Molly and Arthur Weasley exit._

**Fred: **Good morning.

**Ron: **What is the time?  
**Fred: **It is only nine.

**Ron: **God, why does time bloody go so slowly when you are depressed. Why did father leave so fast?

**Fred: **He has been summoned to the Ministry of Magic. What is making you so sad?

**Ron: **I do not have somebody to make time fly.

**Fred: **You are in love!?

**Ron: **No, I was in love. I love someone yet she does not share the same passion.

**Fred: **It may sound childish but love looks nice but on the inside it is a blade that will slice you in two if you are not careful.

**Ron: **What is sad is that love is meant to be blind.

_Ron Weasley sees blood on the pavement._

**Ron: **Bloody hell what happened? Wait – I know already. It is the hatred but more of the love. Happiness, foolishness. Everything is now a complete mess. Love is heave and light, bright and dark, hot and cold, sick and healthy, asleep and awake. I feel love yet nobody loves me in return. Why are you laughing you moron!

**Fred: **I am not laughing, I am concerned.

**Ron: **What the hell are you bloody concerned about?

**Fred: **I am concerned of your sadness.

**Ron: **This is the result of love. I am already sad and now you are making me bloody sadder by being concerned for me. Goodbye.

**Fred: **Wait, I want to spend some time with you.

**Ron: **I am not myself. I have lost myself.

**Fred: **Who do you love?

**Ron: **Seriously? I should tell you?

**Fred: **Yes!

**Ron: **I love a woman.

**Fred: **I guessed that when you said you were in love.

**Ron: **Then you are a very good detective. Another hint – she is beautiful.

**Fred: **A beautiful target is the one that is hit the fastest.

**Ron: **And finally the bullet strikes the detective. She refuses to be struck my love's arrow. She is as clever as Rowena Ravenclaw herself. She cannot be touched by the weak and childish arrows of love. She will not let you lust over her or take gifts of pure gold.

**Fred: **Will her parents be happy with you dating her?  
**Ron: **No, she wastes her beauty. She can never taste or feel love's arrow and that very promise has left me alive but dead, living only to think about what I have done.

**Fred: **Forget about her and move on.

**Ron: **How can I forget something so beautiful?

**Fred: **Look at other women, be enticed by their beauty.

**Ron: **You idiot, that would only make me lust over her beauty more. You are a bloody idiot.


	2. Act 1 Scene 2

Act 1 Scene 2

_**Mr. Brown invited Dean Thomas to a feast where he can try to snatch Mr. Brown's daughter. Peter; their servant invites Ron and Fred Weasley to a party as they are 'not' a Weasley. **_

_Mr. Brown enters Diagon Alley with Dean Thomas and their servant Johnny._

**Mr. Brown: **The Weasley's have sworn and oath just like me. We are mature men and intelligent men, we can easily keep the peace.

**Dean: **You both have good reputations as smart and intelligent men. But what do you say about my question?  
**Mr. Brown: **Must I say it again? My daughter is young and fragile. She is not even fourteen years old. Don't you think she should at least be twenty one before she marries?

**Dean: **Many women marry younger and they become successful mothers and witches.

**Mr. Brown: **I must say no Dean. Go ahead and charm her with your looks, you can fall in love. I can let you marry her but I cannot force it upon her. Tonight we are having a feast, many of my closest friends are coming, and my daughter will be there of course. I would like to invite you to my house. With all the younger women there you may see another woman that seems better to you. Johnny, here, this is the invitation list, I need you to hurry off and welcome them to my house tonight.

_Mr. Brown and Dean Thomas exit._

**Johnny: **Making me do all the hard work around here. I cannot even read for god sake. I must find somebody quickly to help me.

_Fred Weasley and Ron Weasley enter._

**Fred: **Come on mate. You can forget about her easily. Just look at all the hot women right in front of you, they are everywhere.

**Ron: **Shrivelfig is good for that.

**Fred: **For what?

**Ron: **Making you happy.

**Fred: **Ron, you moron.

**Ron: **I am not a moron, I am tied up tighter than someone cursed by the body bind curse.

**Johnny: **Excuse me, do you know how to read?

**Ron: **Yes if it in plain English not ancient runes.

**Johnny: **Could you read something for me sir?  
**Ron: **Harry Potter and his lover, Hermione Granger and her family, Pavarti and her sister and Luna Lovegood and her father. Where is everybody meeting?  
**Johnny: O**ur house.

**Ron: **Whose house mate?  
**Johnny: **My master's house. The rich and famous Mr. Brown. If you are not a Weasley please come and drink with us tonight.

_Johnny exits._

**Fred: **The amazing Hermione that you love so must will be at the Brown's feast in Diagon Alley. Go to the feast and we can compare some of the girls. The woman who you think is beautiful will look as ugly as a troll.

**Ron: **If I ever marry a troll please burn me alive.

**Fred: **You bloody moron. You only said she was beautiful because there were no women to compare her to. Come to the feast mate, that 'woman' will not be the best anymore. I reckon I could compare her to a goblin.

**Ron: **Shut up you bloody idiot! I am not coming because I will see better women, I am going to see the woman I love.


	3. Act 1 Scene 3

Act 1 Scene 3

**Mrs. Brown and Poppy Pomfrey being speaking about Lavender Brown's childhood and marriage plans with Dean Thomas just before the feast begins. **

_Mrs. Brown and Poppy Pomfrey enter._

**Mrs. Brown: **Where is my daughter? Please call her.

**Poppy: **I swear on my medical skills that I told her to come already.

_Lavender Brown enters._

**Lavender: **What is it mother?  
**Mrs. Brown: **I will tell you what the matter is. Poppy please leave this is a private – wait, you can listen, you know how young my daughter is and the troubles she is going through.

**Poppy: **I do indeed.

**Mrs. Brown: **She is not even fourteen yet!

**Poppy: **It doesn't matter what day, on the night of her birthday she will be fourteen. It has been eleven years since I started being your private nurse. You and your husband were out at the Ministry and then the earthquake hit. People screaming – You Know Who returning. The whole thing! My husband – rest in peace – was a happy man he picked you up and comforted you.

**Mrs. Brown: **I pay you to nurse not to tell fairy tales.

**Poppy: **Yes of course.

**Lavender: **Mrs. Pomfrey, please.

**Poppy: **Fine, fine. You were the prettiest baby I have ever seen. If I ever see the day you are married it would be the best day of my life.

**Mrs. Brown: **Marriage is the topic that I want to discuss. Lavender, do you ever want to marry. Not today of course, but would you ever think of it?  
**Lavender: **It is something amazing but I do not dream of it.

**Poppy: **So intelligent, so wise!

**Mrs. Brown: **Your father is much against me when I say this but I think you should consider it. Here in Diagon Alley there are many girls younger than you, many girls who come from rich wizarding families. I was already a mother at your age. I will say this once and once alone – Dean Thomas wants you as his bride.

**Poppy: **That is a very nice man you have Lavender.

**Mrs. Brown: **Summertime in Diagon Alley cannot produce a flower as fine as him. What do you say? Can you love him? He will be at our house shortly for the feast. Look at him, and fall for his beauty. Look into his eyes. He is single and needs only a bride to make him complete. All the women of the wizarding world want him as a man. By having him you would lose nothing.

**Poppy: **Having a man like him would only make you greater.

**Mrs. Brown: **Quick darling, will you marry him?

**Lavender: **I will see him, but I cannot promise you. I cannot just fall for a man who only looks good on the outside. He must also be a beautiful on the inside.

_Johnny enters._

**Johnny: **Excuse me madam the guests are arriving and dinner is served. People are asking for you and Lavender, please come with me.

**Mrs. Brown: **Yes of course, Lavender – Dean is waiting for you. And please do not speak of this to anybody especially your father. He does not think – he advises that you wait until you are twenty one to marry.


	4. Act 1 Scene 4

Act 1 Scene 4

_**Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and Fred Weasley – all dressed up for the occasion have gathered for the Brown's feast. Harry begins to mock Ron before finally entering the house. **_

_Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and Fred Weasley enter dressed anonymously with many other guests present._

**Ron: **What is our excuse if we get caught here?

**Fred: **We are not going to have a speech to welcome ourselves. We will dance and let them judge us how they want for all I care.

**Ron: **No bloody way, I will just watch. I am not in the mood to dance.

**Harry: **Get up, your dancing otherwise I'll jinx you.

**Ron: **My soul is made of swamp juice, it is so heavy that it keeps me on the ground.

**Harry: **Idiot, you are a wizard. Get a broom and fly higher than any other man.

**Ron: **My wounds keep me down, I sink under the heavy weight of my love.

**Harry: **If you sink you are falling. It is not right to drag something as beautiful as love to the ground.

**Ron: **Love is not beautiful you tosser. Love is rude, rowdy and stabs you like a thorn.

**Harry: **If love is rude then play rude with love. So what if somebody sees your flaws?

**Fred: **Come on let's get inside. Once we get in we can show off all our moves!

**Ron: **I will light up the room. You cannot lose if you don't play.

**Harry: **You are being an idiot. We are wasting time. Let's go!

**Ron: **Why do we even have to go to this dumb dinner party ball thing? If we get caught – when we get caught it will be the end for us.

**Harry: **How do you figure?

**Ron: **I had a dream.

**Harry: **So did I.

**Ron: **What was your dream about?  
**Harry: **In my dream I learnt that dreamers often lie.

**Ron: **I doubt that.

**Harry: **Have you been visiting Gilderoy Lockhart again?  
**Fred: **Wait, what does that toss pot have anything to do with this?  
**Harry: **He has gone a bit loopy. He was admitted to the psychiatric ward in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. After his spell backfired he lost all him memory and when you go to visit him – well let's just say that you can feel yourself becoming an idiot right there on the spot.

**Ron: **Stop talking nonsense just shut up.

**Harry: **Your dreams are nothing but your silly imagination, think of your dreams as the air that we breathe. Yet one thing is certain about dreams. They are as predictable as the mind which can blow in any direction. North, then south, then north, then west.

**Fred: **Whilst you talk about the wind, I will just stand here and freeze to death whilst everybody 'inside' the house eats our dinner and we don't even get to see the hot girls.

**Ron: **What happens if we are early? We walk in first and everybody sees we are a Weasley! This is going to be the start of something horrible, heck it might even cost us our lives.

**Fred: **Shut up you toss pot and walk inside the bloody house.


	5. Act 1 Scene 5

Act 1 Scene 5

_**Ron Weasley tries to make Lavender Brown kiss him. Meanwhile Pavarti Patil has been saying that the Weasley's are vermin. Ron Weasley finally realises that Lavender Brown is actually Mr. Brown's daughter. **_

_Jonny and other servants enter to set up the dinner._

**Johnny: **Where are the rest of those incompetent servants? They should be helping us clean. Please take away all of the chairs and the plates.

_Johnny and the servants leave whilst Mr. Brown, Pavarti and Padma Patil, Mrs. Brown and Lavender Brown enter. They meet Ron and Fred Weasley and Harry Potter._

**Mr. Brown: **Welcome everybody. There used to be a time where my very presence would send a girl into a state of trance. That time is past. Make room in the hall. Servants, more light you fools!

**Padma: **It has been a while to say the least.

**Mr. Brown: **It cannot have been too long. Your brother in law just got married recently.

**Padma: **It has been a while since my brother in law married – they are having their first born soon.

**Mr. Brown: **Congratulations, but it is concerning we do not see each other very often.

**Ron: **Who is that girl clinging onto that wizard over there?  
**Harry: **No clue.

**Ron: **She stand out against the other girls like a burst of bright light. Her beauty could even match that of my love. When this dance is over I will try to talk to get.

**Pavarti: **I can tell by that disgusting accent, and red hair that he is a Weasley. How dare that filthy vermin come here to sneer at our fortune! I will teach him a lesson.

**Mr. Brown: **What is wrong child?  
**Pavarti: **Sir, that man is a Weasley – our nemesis. A scoundrel that has come to destroy the party.

**Mr. Brown: **Ron?

**Pavarti: **Yes.

**Mr. Brown: **Calm down. Leave him. He is acting well and he has a good reputation throughout Diagon Alley. I would not dare insult him in my own house. Ignore him – please respect my wishes and stop complaining. We do not act like this at a feast.

**Pavarti: **I can act as I want when vermin is around. I will not tolerate his disgusting family.

**Mr. Brown: **You can and will tolerate it. You will start a feud with our guests. There will be chaos! You own downfall will be your ignorance.

_Pavarti Patil leaves._

**Ron: **Your had is so smooth compared to the rough hands of mine.

**Lavender: **You are a devoted man, touching my hand without knowing me is like kissing me without me accepting.

**Ron: **I – sorry.

_Lavender Brown kisses Ron Weasley._

**Lavender: **I can feel the passion transferring from your lips to mine.

**Ron: **You encourage crime with your beauty. Give me my passion back.

_They kiss again._

**Lavender: **Have you done this before?  
**Poppy: **Lavender! Your mother wants you immediately.

_Lavender Brown leaves in a hurry._

**Ron: **Who is her mum?  
**Poppy: **She is the woman of the house. A wise woman and whoever marries her will be the richest in the city.

**Ron: **A Brown! My life in the hands of an enemy?

**Fred: **Let's leave. We are being noticed by the guests and I am sure that many people here have heard bad things about our family.

**Ron: **I think we are in bloody deep trouble.

**Mr. Brown: **Come everybody, the desert is about to begin!

_Everybody leaves apart from Lavender Brown and Poppy Pomfrey._

**Lavender: **Who has that boy?  
**Poppy: **I do not know his name but I have seen him before.

**Lavender: **Ask, if he is taken I do not know what I would do.

**Poppy: **His name is Ron. He is a Weasley – the son of your family's arch nemesis.

**Lavender: **The only man I have ever loved is the son of the man I truly hate. Love is cruel.


End file.
